Heres my manifesto revised ...
As our cities are becoming increasingly connected in physical systems, systems of communication and even global economy, our interaction with our immediate surroundings are changing where our relationship with space has become less physical but one of speed and fleeting moments in time. Taking the feeway, an integral part of LA's urban infrastructure as a starting point, I investigated these systems of connections within the city, in physical elements such as the freeway and the effects of such systems. Taking this new urban phenomena of hyperconnectivity brought upon by such systems of connection, I plan to investigate and explore new types of connections and conditions within the context of a housing superblock, superwall and superflat as an extension of this greater system...
Comments (1)
in first sentence, get rid of the economy bit. it's weak and would require you to elaborate. 2nd sentence would work better if you just start with i investigated these systems..... so rearrange the sentence for clarity. 3rd sentence - 'taking this new urban phenomena' - what is the phenomena? you're making very grand statements but not substantiating them. Take a day or 2 and write the intro as though you were writing a history theory essay on the topic of connectivity and speed - so you get your thoughts clear, your message ultra-articulated so it can become your manifesto. At the moment you have an idea but it reads more as a collection of sentences rather than a MANIFESTO. Go read a few short texts in the 20th century manifestos book on our shelf in the library to get inspiration. ok - all for now.
Posted by natasha sandmeier | May 9, 2007 2:39 PM
Posted on May 9, 2007 14:39